Yep.

Still alive.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

The album is Raising Sand and the song is "Please Read the Letter".

Does anyone else find all these multiple births disturbing?

I'm waiting for someone to have an even dozen.

I know better then to listen to the weather report. Regardless it doesn't stop me from feeling betrayed when it is wrong. There was no snow yesterday (no sun either) and it was blessed nice. Not so much today. Oh well.

So I need to regal you all with tales of our awesome Disney World Adventure. It is better experienced through pictures you can find here:

http://gallery.me.com/dubiousmit/100856

Dora and I went with Tim and Ali who are our east coast Austin and Wifey. They are awesome. I shall weep copious tears of joy when they are all gathered in one place.

Two migraines in two weeks. It is shit to say the least. But what can I expect when the temperature keeps plummeting? Bah, I am tired of this. Give me a bit of sun and cool 65 degrees.

I am so glad the Watchmen movie well be coming out as scheduled (picture each of these words buttered and dripping with tired sarcasm).

Disney World next week! YAY.

The game is picking back up and we've got new players. Even more YAY.

My cat is no longer McPukey. YAY.

It is winter and I feel the need to put up a general disclaimer revolving around my frequent bouts of not taking IMs, phonecalls, texts and blah blah.

This is a very hard season for me. Which I've touched on a couple times but never properly conveyed. Migraines - it's that simple. They are a bitch and leave me wasted for the better part of a week. This usually leads to me scrambling to catch up on things that I have missed and tends to be a bit frustrating in the process.

So please don't take it personal when I don't answer IMs, text back or even give you a ring. I'll be better in the Spring but until then I gotta deal with chronic head pain first.

...head killing me...

...Cannot get enough of Fallout 3...

...Tim and Ali's wedding reception was awesome...

DO NOT SEND HELP

ONLY SEND BEER

<333333

Nearly a hundred imps and NINE bottles - wtf? I am ashamed of myself. Mostly this is because I am lusting after fifteen other bottles. No damn it. Just no. I already have enough to last me this life time (though lets face it I will cave as Ouija and Zombi are musts).

On the plus side the impulse buy of the election day scents seems to have paid off. I wore one today and received many a compliment though I'm still iffy about the other. For those of you who don't understand this BE THANKFUL.

Liar, liar pants on fire!

1. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's & father's middle names)
Punani Field (…this is just wrong)

2. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)
Luigi Ray

3. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 2 letters of your last name, first 4 letters of your first name) Rinico

4.DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Blue Shark

5. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you live)
Leilani Amherst

6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite alcoholic drink, optionally add "THE" to the beginning)
The Purple Margarita

7. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Niey (I think this is an actual fly noise)

8. GANGSTA NAME: (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie):
Chocolate Chocolate Chip (I will fuck your shit up!)

9. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pet's name, current street name)
The Cat Vine Lane

10. PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on)
Dude Stevens

EDIT: The library has all the books I requested. You do not know how gleeful I am to have my greedy little hands on a copy of "Geek Love". Now I must restrain myself not to read them all before New Hampshire.

TWILIGHT ON FRIDAY!

Wife! You + Me + A monkey load of pink and gold sparkles = FUCKING AWESOME

Don’t ask me why I’m so excited about this movie. I know the books are awful and I cannot explain why I insisted on reading them or why I need to see this film. If I tried it would probably involve unheard of math equations, anti-matter, pro-matter, ectoplasm, black holes and dilithium crystals. In short it is an un-thrilling mystery that cannot be solved.

Besides would you all rather I talk about shitty books and terrible movies then the current hard nodules I’ve been coughing up in my sputum? Yes, that is exactly what I thought.

Guys, I am dog tired. Was unable to fall asleep until 3:00 this morning because the brain space is stupid and would not let me rest and instead insisted on replaying the chorus of the Stones “Honkey Tonk Man”. On the plus side the hives that mysteriously appeared up and disappeared once I realized I was pissed off for being played by my sister’s social worker.

How can November be halfway done?!

I'd be a little more willing to listen to the lot of people that claim Obama is antichrist if they weren't the same people that had voted Bush and Cheney into office.

Bush is a fucking moron but Cheney is the devil.

So I just finished this delightful piece of crappity smack. I’ll be honest and say I read this sort of shit so I can be mean. It isn’t even a challenge per say but holy Moses is it fun! Think of it as being the ultimate bully in school. You don’t have to beat up the other kids for their lunch money but gosh darn it puts a smile on your face and allows you to start saving for future investment funds.

In short: I wish I had a dick. I mean, I am a dick.

A small run down on our star crossed lovers:

Isabella “Bella” Swan

The name is just…ugh. Really I feel bad for her father Charlie Swan. Something about the name sounds like a frozen food line or sex act. “Charlie Swan Frozen Pizza is Delish!” really I’d just love to hear someone say “My girlfriend gave me a Charlie Swan last night”. Bella is uber pale, like Cool Whip totally called and wanted it’s whiteness back. She is also a klutz (I think this is supposed to be enduring) and thinks of herself as plain. So of course every guy in school wants her and she acts like an oblivious re-re about it.

Bella spends most of the story having the boys swoon over her, falling and be carried around everywhere by vampires. She smells really good, like freshly cooked bacon if it smelled “floral” and something like “lavender”. Bella gets angry after she gets bit by another vampire and Edward sucks the venom out rather then letting her become undead. In short she is whiny, manipulative and something of a be-yotch.

Edward “Ed the Head” Cullen

Okay, I made part of that up. Edward is over a hundred years old and is forced to attend high school for the sake of blending in. Man, can you imagine such a thing? I think it would be absolute torture. I like to think Edward carries a flask of alcoholic’s blood that he takes sips from in between classes. After which he stumbles around muttering about “ungrateful whelps” and how he needs something to “dull the pain” while glaring at everyone like a proper senior citizen.

Unfortunately this doesn’t happen. Edward has some of the worst dialogue in the book (I find the characters with the fewest lines to be the most likable!). He is controlling, moody and possessive. He loves Bella so much he is constantly telling her what to do and throws many fits when any other male creature looks at her. Edward is the type of guy your mother would tell you to stay the hell away from. But don’t worry folks he does have one saving grace: HE SPARKLES IN THE SUNLIGHT.

I am currently reading this sack of awful. There is no rhyme or reason as to why I insist on punishing myself or why I have already decided that I need to read the whole series. It is by no means the worse thing I have ever read (I'll have to make that list later) but it makes the top five. It seems that any idiot can write a book these days. All you need is poorly strung together OTP with Ms. Mary Sue and Mr. Gary Stu.

Ugh.

So I wandered over to imdb to read about the movie. I have found these amazing pictures:

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm4182807552/tt1099212

WTF is up with Edward's face? Seriously is he stoned? Angry? Constipated? Maybe all three at once? IT IS A MYSTERY.

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm4216361984/tt1099212

I find this a perfect example on how to make an attractive person fugly with stupid hair. I suspect this is what the Fonz's hair looked like before he suffocated it with hair spray ever morning.

...I'm totally going to see this movie. Maczor you are coming with me right?

SYLAR IS THE THIRD SUMMERS BROTHER. I meant Petrelli *cough*

The first season of Heroes was faboo and now we get crap. CRAPPITY CRAP CRAP CRAP. Srsly it is so disappointing it makes my nose itch. The only reason I'll watch it now is because I'd like to hump Zachary Quinto six ways to Sunday.

I would totally put myself in debt to save my cat.

This little issue with the barfing has put things in perspective. I had always maintained I wasn't one of "those" people. I am a big fat liar.

I need a job that forces me to use my brain.

I am so tired of dicking around and filing. I don't want to be content with that sort of shit. I want something more challenging.

House sitting for Tim or Annette is actually quite nice.

I feel comfortable and at home at either house and that is most certainly a rare treat.

LOOK DORA! I USED THE TONY ICON! AND YOU CAN'T STOP IT! MWAHAHAHAH!

She managed to rub her nose raw along the holes in the carrier. By the time I got to the vet office there was blood dripping outside of the carrier and smeared all along the walls inside. She scrapped off the most of the skin and I imagine it has to be stingy and tender.

The assistant weights my beastie and proclaims that she is a most perfect weight. I get a verbal pat on the head for this and the assistant proclaims it is nice "not to have to put a house cat on a diet". I didn't tell her my secret is to all but verbally abuse The Cat by telling her that she is a fatty fat fat fat. I also don't admit that perhaps Cat understands this and hence why she has been puking her guts out for the better part of three weeks.

The assistant leaves and I wait for the vet with a squirmy cat and a bloody carrier at my feet.

The vet arrives! Notices the carrier immediately. Claims he has never seen a cat do this and proclaims that she is a most nervous feline. The examine goes fine and given her behavior and the fact that she doesn't vomit when I keep her away from the other two cats and closed off he thinks it may be an ulcer. I've got two bottles of medications that I need to give her a total of five times a day.

I am taking Barfy McCat to the vet today.

I hope it is nothing more then a huge hairball that he needs to snake out.

Dora and I have this ongoing joke about our epic movie which has more recently turned into a musical. Here is a list of potential acts and musical numbers!

Act 1: Stink Shoe

No one likes The Kid with Stink Shoe

I am Your Favorite Niece (Your only Niece)

Will You Pass me that Towel? Yes I Will!

I am The Pope, I am the Lobster, am I cuckoo?

Act 2: Vomit Foot

I’m Gonna Squeeze the vomit outta you like a Pastry Tube

MAC the Knife (the really hot knife)

What is that Smell?!

That Angle is Dark

Act 3: The Road to Heck

I Stepped in It

Hardcore Porn Mail

ARR! (Is he or isn’t he?)

You can call me Rick I’ll call you Jake (a love song)

Act 4: Road Rage

Stolen Candy: Angie why are you so Mean?

Buffalo has Gonorrhea

The Girl wears Pink Taffy

I Stepped in It Again

Act 5: Rock Out with Your Cock Out

Two Wheels off the Rainbow Road

Homemade Pickle

I Believe in a Thing Called Prum

The Republican Wookie Comes Home (finale)

http://www.squishable.com/pc/squish_shark_15/Big_Animals/Big+Squishable+Shark


Squishable Shark!? SQUISHABLE SHARK!!!

I need this thing.

I need this thing so much it has made me want to pee.